SMOKY BARE

I made only one solo flight between recommendation for my private check ride and the big day itself, but it was a doozy. Farmers in the Willamette Valley burned stubble fields after harvest that time of year, and their towering plumes of smoke stirred my imagination. Driving to the airport I passed a field where workers were preparing to set such a fire, made a stupid decision right then and forbade myself to reconsider.Telling no one my intentions, I called for a tow directly toward where smoke from that fire was only then becoming visible, released 2,000 feet above ground and glided further that way, arriving low over the fire, out of range from home but right on time. The pillar of smoke was building already above my height over savage flames in the field’s center. Empty fuel cans swung in workers’ hands as they rushed to shift from starting the fire to controlling it. Last I'd see of them.Too dumb to know better and too eager to think of consequences, I drove straight into the roiling smoke. Turbulence and the strength of lift were explosive. Almost instantly control of the aircraft vanished, pedals kicking feet and stick slamming all directions against both my hands. Barely enough light to see ash pouring through the air vent. Squinting peeks at the instruments brought spasms of euphoria and fright. Already a thousand feet higher, airspeed bounding 80 to zero, vario pegged. In this maelstrom of particulates, could it be clogged? No, now it's pegged down. And up again. No knowing what toxins I ingested or how dire their effects, impossible to breathe without coughing and inhaling more.Suddenly I shot out into the blue semi-inverted. Rolling upright, I coughed some more and took stock, then aimed again for the smoke. The second ride was wilder, fumes now nauseating. When spit out again, a seemingly instant 4,000-foot gain seemed enough. I glided home feeling like I'd just robbed a jewelry store and bumped a cop's shoulder on the way out.Eyebrows rose when I landed after a flight that was short even for me, face covered and cockpit filled with ash.Knowing what I know now, my instructor should have stricken that fresh sign off from my logbook and insisted I take up some other hobby.  And if you did anything that stupid at our outfit today, same thing.'Nuff said?