CAST AWAY

Back in the day I often told ski bum buddies I'd gladly trade a whole day on the hill for one climb in a thermal. Most would shrug me off, expressing no interest, and few ever accepted my invitation to come and give it a try. One who did was Doug, who showed up with his left leg in a full cast, ankle to crotch. (No, not a skiing accident; softball. It's true, you don't have to be a good athlete to be a great skier, but Doug was neither.) The difficulties of getting him into the cockpit should have discouraged us, but we were young. I had to disconnect one rudder pedal to make room for his unmovable foot, but mine in the back still worked so that was okay. Up around his thigh the cast's bulk greatly limited stick in that direction, so we'd only be able to make right turns. Fair enough, let's do this. Now you readers with a smidge of common sense will shake your heads right away, but those like me may have to follow on a little longer. See, when you turn right you move the stick right, then move it back to center during the turn. Problem is you need LEFT stick to roll out of that right turn! Otherwise... I began to sense trouble during takeoff, but conditions were mild and we got away with it. Excess left rudder made raising the right wing doable, though awfully ugly. That 'technique' kept us in position on tow, and eventually we thermaled up into wave where life was easier. Doug enjoyed a nice ordinary joy ride, and soon was ready to come down. Full spoilers, flat banks, nothing special. I chose a right hand pattern for obvious reasons, but had to extend the downwind leg so a Bonanza could complete its straight-in approach. (We had no radio naturally, and being always inclined to let others go first, I thought nothing of forfeiting right-of-way.) That put us at the Bonanza's six with no choice but to stay right there as it moved away and the earth came up to meet us. Then just when I was thinking 'Cheated the Devil again,' all Holy heck erupted. Having never actually experienced wake turbulence, truth is I'd forgotten all about it. As we dropped below fifty feet we were snap-rolled to the right, pointed straight at a runway light two o'clock low and looking like a crunch in progress. It was over before I knew what happened, and only later pieced together what I did about it. Full left rudder and stick hard against Doug's cast, forcing him to yield a bit more than he had already – was not enough. Fortunately a moment of forward stick was in order, even this near the ground, which allowed more left stick down where Doug's cast narrowed. That plus the absurdly high wing of our 2-33 was what kept us from digging a tip or even cartwheeling, until we could slew sideways into level attitude waaay off line from the runway and touch down in high grass beyond. So that's what they mean by wake turbulence!This gave me plenty to talk about, but once we got Doug extracted from the cockpit he was eager to leave. And surprise surprise, he never came back for another ride.